Granted. But you're the only one who isn't awesome and dedicated so everybody hates you.

I wish this weekend would be longer.

Granted, the weekend is now 3 hours longer, but enjoy it. It's the last weekend that will ever exist.



I wish my bruises and soreness that i got as a result of playing softball for 2 days would go away.

Granted. The soreness and bruises you got from playing softball are gone, replaced instead by soreness and bruises from S&M.

I wish I had a better electric guitar.

Granted. You now have the best guitar in the world, but all of your skills were taken away during the wish-granting process so you have no clue how to play it. And you can't sell it for a fortune either because it's a magic guitar and if played by someone other than yourself, it will explode.

I wish all the fancy brand name stores (hollister, abercrombie, hot topic, pac sun, american eagle, etc..) would disappear for ever.

granted but so do all the others so now you are forced to make your own clothes from now on.


I wish my toms and the bass drum on my drumset sounded better.

Granted, your toms and bass drum now sound better, but the snare now sounds horrible, the cymbals are rusted and cracked, and your cheap hardware is falling apart.

I wish I had fun plans for the next week until I leave for the Reno Jazz Festival.

Granted, but they come to an abrupt halt when there is an outbreak of a virus that turns people into flesh eating, primitive animals. This puts an end to your Jazz Festival plans, as well.

I wish all this DCI schwagg wasn't so expensive.

Granted, now it's even more expensive than before.

I wish the Braves could win the World Series this season.

Granted, but nobody watches baseball anyways, so it's a hollow victory.

I wish I wasn't such a wimp.

granted but everyone else just gets 10x stronger than they were already so your still a wimp compared to everyone else.

I wish everything in life and death was perfect.lol